HUMORSCOPES Week of 5-25-14 May the Farce be with You!!!

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

AriesMarch 21 – April 19) Noting that your clementines are missing, you realize your case manager is clearly a kleptomaniac! Quick! Use The Farce to clear the conflagration of creative claims against your character. The time is NOW!

Taurus(April 20 – May 20) Noting that your Krispy Kremes are missing, you realize your case manager is clearly a kleptomaniac! Quick! Use The Farce to clear the conflagration of creative claims against your character. The time is NOW!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Noting that your critters are missing, you realize your case manager is clearly a kleptomaniac! Quick! Use The Farce to clear the conflagration of creative claims against your character. The time is NOW!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Noting that your crab cakes are missing, you realize your case manager is clearly a kleptomaniac! Quick! Use The Farce to clear the conflagration of creative claims against your character. The time is NOW!

Leo(July 23 – August 22) Noting that your cousins are missing, you realize your case manager is clearly a kleptomaniac! Quick! Use The Farce to clear the conflagration of creative claims against your character. The time is NOW!

Virgo(August 23 – September 22) Noting that your chocolates are missing, you realize your case manager is clearly a kleptomaniac! Quick! Use The Farce to clear the conflagration of creative claims against your character. The time is NOW!

LibraSeptember 23 – October 22) Noting that your cash is  missing, you realize your case manager is clearly a kleptomaniac! Quick! Use The Farce to clear the conflagration of creative claims against your character. The time is NOW!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Noting that your collection of collages is missing, you realize your case manager is clearly a kleptomaniac! Quick! Use The Farce to clear the conflagration of creative claims against your character. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius(November 22 – December 21) Noting that your crinolines are missing, you realize your case manager is clearly a kleptomaniac! Quick!  Use The Farce to clear the conflagration of creative claims against your character.  The time is NOW!

Capricorn(December 22 – January 19) Noting that your coat is missing, you realize your case manager is clearly a kleptomaniac! Quick! Use The Farce to clear the conflagration of creative claims against your character.  The time is NOW!

Aquarius(January 20 – February 18) Noting that your Cream of Wheat is  missing, you realize your case manager is clearly a kleptomaniac! Quick! Use The Farce to clear the conflagration of creative claims against your character. The time is NOW!

Pisces(February 19 – March 20) Noting that your cleavers are missing, you realize your case manager is clearly a kleptomaniac! Quick! Use The Farce to clear the conflagration of creative claims against your character. The time is NOW!

HUMORSCOPES Week of 5-18-14 May the Farce be with You!!!

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

AriesMarch 21 – April 19) Om ai! The season finale of your favorite show throws your chi out of kilter this week, which of course disrupts your unusual morning routine. Use The Farce to regain the right strain. The time is NOW!

Taurus(April 20 – May 20) Om ai! The season finale of your favorite show throws your chi out of kilter this week, which of course disrupts your unusual morning routine. Use The Farce to throw your hands in the air, and wave them like you just don’t care. The time is NOW!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Om ai! The season finale of your favorite show throws your chi out of kilter this week, which of course disrupts your unusual morning routine. Use The Farce to count to ten and try again. The time is NOW!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Om ai! The season finale of your favorite show throws your chi out of kilter this week, which of course disrupts your unusual morning routine. Use The Farce to rise and shine! The time is NOW!

Leo(July 23 – August 22) Om ai! The season finale of your favorite show throws your chi out of kilter this week, which of course disrupts your unusual morning routine. Use The Farce to drop and give yourself twenty. The time is NOW!

Virgo(August 23 – September 22) Om ai! The season finale of your favorite show throws your chi out of kilter this week, which of course disrupts your unusual morning routine. Use The Farce to write the network. The time is NOW!

LibraSeptember 23 – October 22) Om ai! The season finale of your favorite show throws your chi out of kilter this week, which of course disrupts your unusual morning routine. Use The Farce to find another hobby. The time is NOW!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Om ai! The season finale of your favorite show throws your chi out of kilter this week, which of course disrupts your unusual morning routine. Use The Farce to level the playing field. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius(November 22 – December 21) Om ai! The season finale of your favorite show throws your chi out of kilter this week, which of course disrupts your unusual morning routine. Use The Farce to squiff it off.  The time is NOW!

Capricorn(December 22 – January 19) Om ai! The season finale of your favorite show throws your chi out of kilter this week, which of course disrupts your unusual morning routine. Use The Farce to remember the Alamo. The time is NOW!

Aquarius(January 20 – February 18) Om ai! The season finale of your favorite show throws your chi out of kilter this week, which of course disrupts your unusual morning routine. Use The Farce to have breakfast without your favorite characters. The time is NOW!

Pisces(February 19 – March 20) Om ai! The season finale of your favorite show throws your chi out of kilter this week, which of course disrupts your unusual morning routine. Use The Farce to switch to Netflix. The time is NOW!

HUMORSCOPES Week of 5-11-14 May the Farce be with You!!!

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

AriesMarch 21 – April 19) The newly discovered and widely unappreciated planet Vog traipses into your 5th Hale this week, causing disruption to your 3rd chakra. Use The Farce find an indoor environment. BAM!!

Taurus(April 20 – May 20) The newly discovered and widely unappreciated planet Vog traipses into your 5th Hale this week, causing disruption to your mood chakra. Use The Farce find just the right tea, and hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. BAM!!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) The newly discovered and widely unappreciated planet Vog traipses into your 6th Hale this week, causing disruption to your sacral chakra. Use The Farce locate the deepest, darkest chocolate you can find. BAM!!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) The newly discovered and widely unappreciated planet Vog traipses into your 22nd Hale this week, causing disruption to your ruption. Use The Farce find re-rupt. BAM!!

Leo(July 23 – August 22) The newly discovered and widely unappreciated planet Vog traipses into your One and Only Hale this week, causing disruption to your Power Center. Use The Farce to boldly go where you previously didn’t, and find relief. BAM!!

Virgo(August 23 – September 22) The newly discovered and widely unappreciated planet Vog traipses into your Neighborhood Hale this week, causing disruption to your equilibrium. Use The Farce to plant a community garden. BAM!!

LibraSeptember 23 – October 22) The newly discovered and widely unappreciated planet Vog traipses into your 11th Hale this week, causing your musical tastes to shift to the more subtle. Use The Farce to enjoy some retail therapy. BAM!!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) The newly discovered and widely unappreciated planet Vog traipses into your Love Hale this week, causing family confusion. Use The Farce to plan a reunion off island. BAM!!

Sagittarius(November 22 – December 21) The newly discovered and widely unappreciated planet Vog traipses into your Creativity Hale this week, causing odd dreams. Use The Farce to just relax and enjoy those. BAM!!

Capricorn(December 22 – January 19) The newly discovered and widely unappreciated planet Vog traipses into your Left Brain Hale this week, causing overuse of your to-do list. Use The Farce to embrace the organizational skills. BAM!!

Aquarius(January 20 – February 18) The newly discovered and widely unappreciated planet Vog traipses into your Breakfast Hale this week, causing massive cereal reconstruction. Use The Farce to enforce Cream of Wheat, doggone it! BAM!!

Pisces(February 19 – March 20) The newly discovered and widely unappreciated planet Vog traipses into your Sea Hale this week, causing oceanic disruption. Use The Farce to to go with Time Warner instead. BAM!!

HUMORSCOPES Week of 5-4-14 May the Farce be with You!!!

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

AriesMarch 21 – April 19) Unclear on the concept, you contact your plumber to celebrate Cinco de Mayo this week. Oopsie! Use The Farce to regain his respect. The time is NOW!

Taurus(April 20 – May 20) Unclear on the concept, you contact your plumber to celebrate Cinco de Mayo this week. Oopsie! Use The Farce to find a new plumber. The time is NOW!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Unclear on the concept, you contact your plumber to celebrate Cinco de Mayo this week. Oopsie! Use The Farce to create an interpretive dance and celebrate the oopsie! The time is NOW!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Unclear on the concept, you contact your plumber to celebrate Cinco de Mayo this week. Oopsie! Use The Farce to own the groan! The time is NOW!

Leo(July 23 – August 22) Unclear on the concept, you contact your plumber to celebrate Cinco de Mayo this week. Oopsie! Use The Farce to count to ten and try again. The time is NOW!

Virgo(August 23 – September 22) Unclear on the concept, you contact your plumber to celebrate Cinco de Mayo this week. Oopsie! Use The Farce to petition congress to make the change. The time is NOW!

LibraSeptember 23 – October 22) Unclear on the concept, you contact your plumber to celebrate Cinco de Mayo this week. Oopsie! Use The Farce to just roll with it. The time is NOW!!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Unclear on the concept, you contact your plumber to celebrate Cinco de Mayo this week. Oopsie! Use The Farce to let it go. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius(November 22 – December 21) Unclear on the concept, you contact your plumber to celebrate Cinco de Mayo this week. Oopsie! Use The Farce to express your deepest apologies. The time is NOW!

Capricorn(December 22 – January 19) Unclear on the concept, you contact your plumber to celebrate Cinco de Mayo this week. Oopsie! Use The Farce to change the subject entirely. The time is NOW!

Aquarius(January 20 – February 18) Unclear on the concept, you contact your plumber to celebrate Cinco de Mayo this week. Oopsie! Use The Farce to dance around your hot cereal. Arriba! The time is NOW!

Pisces(February 19 – March 20) Unclear on the concept, you contact your plumber to celebrate Cinco de Mayo this week. Oopsie! Use The Farce to belt out an operatic tribute to the faux pas. The time is NOW!

HUMORSCOPES Week of 4-27-14 May the Farce be with You!!!

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

AriesMarch 21 – April 19) The bold entrance of O’Malley’s Comet into your 3rd House and rising sign this week throw you into an unexpected tizzy. Use The Farce to bone up on your surgical skills and regain your balance immediately! Like NOW if not yesterday! BAM!!!

Taurus(April 20 – May 20) The bold entrance of O’Malley’s Comet into your 3rd House and rising sign this week throw you into an unexpected tizzy. Use The Farce to move to a different house and regain your balance immediately! Like NOW if not yesterday! BAM!!!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) The bold entrance of O’Malley’s Comet into your 3rd House and rising sign this week throw you into an unexpected tizzy. Use The Farce to catch up on the “Grey’s Anatomy” early seasons and regain your balance immediately! Like NOW if not yesterday! BAM!!!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) The bold entrance of O’Malley’s Comet into your 3rd House and rising sign this week throw you into an unexpected tizzy. Use The Farce to blame the full moon – close or not – and regain your balance immediately! Like NOW if not yesterday! BAM!!!

Leo(July 23 – August 22) The bold entrance of O’Malley’s Comet into your 3rd House and rising sign this week throw you into an unexpected tizzy. Use The Farce to embrace your Irish heritage and regain your balance immediately! Like NOW if not yesterday! BAM!!!

Virgo(August 23 – September 22) The bold entrance of O’Malley’s Comet into your 3rd House and rising sign this week throw you into an unexpected tizzy. Use The Farce to train your sign to rise elsewhere, and regain your balance immediately! Like NOW if not yesterday! BAM!!!

LibraSeptember 23 – October 22) The bold entrance of O’Malley’s Comet into your 3rd House and rising sign this week throw you into an unexpected tizzy. Use The Farce to invoke plausible deniability, and regain your balance immediately! Like NOW if not yesterday! BAM!!!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) The bold entrance of O’Malley’s Comet into your 3rd House and rising sign this week throw you into an unexpected tizzy. Use The Farce to honor George  and regain your balance immediately! Like NOW if not yesterday! BAM!!!

Sagittarius(November 22 – December 21) The bold entrance of O’Malley’s Comet into your 3rd House and rising sign this week throw you into an unexpected tizzy. Use The Farce to say, “Yes!” to the mess, and regain your balance immediately! Like NOW if not yesterday! BAM!!!

Capricorn(December 22 – January 19) The bold entrance of O’Malley’s Comet into your 3rd House and rising sign this week throw you into an unexpected tizzy. Use The Farce to chant, “007” with all the reverence you can muster, and regain your balance immediately! Like NOW if not yesterday! BAM!!!

Aquarius(January 20 – February 18) The bold entrance of O’Malley’s Comet into your 3rd House and rising sign this week throw you into an unexpected tizzy. Use The Farce to erect a hot cereal model of the event for the science fair, and regain your balance immediately! Like NOW if not yesterday! BAM!!!

Pisces(February 19 – March 20) The bold entrance of O’Malley’s Comet into your 3rd House and rising sign this week throw you into an unexpected tizzy. Use The Farce to act like it never happened, and regain your balance immediately! Like NOW if not yesterday! BAM!!!

HUMORSCOPES Week of 4-20-14 May the Farce be with You!!!

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

AriesMarch 21 – April 19) In an East meets West attempt, your marketing team introduces your innovative “Chakra Bits” cereal this Sunday. Use The Farce to capitalize on the numerology of the date. The time is NOW!

Taurus(April 20 – May 20) In an East meets West attempt, your marketing team introduces your innovative “Chakra Bits” cereal this Sunday. Use The Farce to ingest the delight into your power center. The time is NOW!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) In an East meets West attempt, your marketing team introduces your innovative “Chakra Bits” cereal this Sunday. Use The Farce to create celebratori confetti and parTAY! The time is NOW!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) In an East meets West attempt, your marketing team introduces your innovative “Chakra Bits” cereal this Sunday. Use The Farce to rise and shine! The time is NOW!

Leo(July 23 – August 22) In an East meets West attempt, your marketing team introduces your innovative “Chakra Bits” cereal this Sunday. Use The Farce to get them included in the fancy-ass hotel resort brunches. The time is NOW!

Virgo(August 23 – September 22) In an East meets West attempt, your marketing team introduces your innovative “Chakra Bits” cereal this Sunday. Use The Farce teach your children nutritional balance. The time is NOW!

LibraSeptember 23 – October 22) In an East meets West attempt, your marketing team introduces your innovative “Chakra Bits” cereal this Sunday. Use The Farce to demonstrate energetic balance with their crayon palate of colors. The time is NOW!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) In an East meets West attempt, your marketing team introduces your innovative “Chakra Bits” cereal this Sunday. Use The Farce to get your students to open their minds…and mouths. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius(November 22 – December 21) In an East meets West attempt, your marketing team introduces your innovative “Chakra Bits” cereal this Sunday. Use The Farce to add your favorite ingredient and bake a new Chakra Bits coffee cake for your friends.  The time is NOW!

Capricorn(December 22 – January 19) In an East meets West attempt, your marketing team introduces your innovative “Chakra Bits” cereal this Sunday. Use The Farce to wrap them in bacon and serve as appetizers at the party. The time is NOW!

Aquarius(January 20 – February 18) In an East meets West attempt, your marketing team introduces your innovative “Chakra Bits” cereal this Sunday. Use The Farce to add them to your cream of wheat and enjoy! The time is NOW!

Pisces(February 19 – March 20) In an East meets West attempt, your marketing team introduces your innovative “Chakra Bits” cereal this Sunday. Use The Farce to smash them into a powder and use as make up – epic fail or not! The time is NOW!

HUMORSCOPES Week of 4-13-14 May the Farce be with You!!!

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

AriesMarch 21 – April 19) Woefully unclear on the concept, you palm your sundae during the service this weekend. Use The Farce to exclaim, “Oopsie!” and throw yourself on the mercy of the clergy.

Taurus(April 20 – May 20) Woefully unclear on the concept, you palm your sundae during the service this weekend. Use The Farce to lick it off and keep on truckin’!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Woefully unclear on the concept, you palm your sundae during the service this weekend. Use The Farce to politely request additional cinnamon-laced chocolate sauce. Hey – if not now, when?

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Woefully unclear on the concept, you palm your sundae during the service this weekend. Use The Farce to proclaim, “I meant to do that!” with the proper amount of authoritative, resonant bass in your voice.

Leo(July 23 – August 22) Woefully unclear on the concept, you palm your sundae during the service this weekend. Use The Farce to share the sign of peace handshake all up and down your row. Sharing is caring!

Virgo(August 23 – September 22) Woefully unclear on the concept, you palm your sundae during the service this weekend. Use The Farce to pat your favorite patrons on the back.

LibraSeptember 23 – October 22) Woefully unclear on the concept, you palm your sundae during the service this weekend. Use The Farce to step up to the front and praise the lactose!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Woefully unclear on the concept, you palm your sundae during the service this weekend. Use The Farce to blame it on the devil, Flip Wilson-style.

Sagittarius(November 22 – December 21) Woefully unclear on the concept, you palm your sundae during the service this weekend. Use The Farce to slink away to the lavatory and create a cherry bomb. Hey – gotta do something!

Capricorn(December 22 – January 19) Woefully unclear on the concept, you palm your sundae during the service this weekend. Use The Farce to “discreetly” clean it off during the embrace your neighbor section of the celebration.

Aquarius(January 20 – February 18) Woefully unclear on the concept, you palm your sundae during the service this weekend. Use The Farce to bust out the cream of wheat and chow down!

Pisces(February 19 – March 20) Woefully unclear on the concept, you palm your sundae during the service this weekend. Use The Farce to put a little sumthin’ sumthin’ extra in the collection plate.

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