HUMORSCOPES Week of 10-9-11 May The Farce be with You!
09 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Funny Horoscopes, Humorscopes, Parody of Horoscopes Tags: astrology, comedy, eddy grant, farce, funny horoscopes, horoscopes, humor, humorscopes, parody, psychic services, san francisco, T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com
Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com
For entertainment purposes only. (DUH!)
This week’s theme song:
Aries – March 21 – April 19) This week, you pay a full moon visit to the Even Surlier Psychic on the streets of San Francisco. She tells you that you will never meet your soul mate unless you cleanse your sole. Use The Farce to wipe the doggie caca off your shoe.
Taurus – (April 20 – May 20) This week, you pay a full moon visit to the Even Surlier Psychic on the streets of San Francisco. She tells to file a police report any time your mother-in-law nearly hits you with her car. Use The Farce to follow through.
Gemini – (May 21 – June 20) This week, you pay a full moon visit to the Even Surlier Psychic on the streets of San Francisco. She tells you that your life line is split in two. Use The Farce to be more discreet.
Cancer – (June 21 – July 22) This week, you pay a full moon visit to the Even Surlier Psychic on the streets of San Francisco. She tells you to use your Rollatizer as a projectile the next time you receive inappropriate instructions. Use The Farce all the time – it just might curb the urge.
Leo – (July 23 – August 22) This week, you pay a full moon visit to the Even Surlier Psychic on the streets of San Francisco. She makes a veiled reference to your spirituality. Use The Farce and a bus ticket to return to the cloistered convent.
Virgo – (August 23 – September 22) This week, you pay a full moon visit to the Even Surlier Psychic on the streets of San Francisco. As you play the lotto numbers she gave you, you realize they’re your dog’s birthday. Use The Farce and a dictionary to grasp the meaning of the word “psychic,” as Swami Nachurmami suggested. TIITF!
Libra – September 23 – October 22) This week, you pay a full moon visit to the Even Surlier Psychic on the streets of San Francisco. She tells you that if you want to know if your darling is faithful, speak directly to your darling. Use The Farce and the yellow pages to seek couples counseling if necessary.
Scorpio – (October 23 – November 21) This week, you pay a full moon visit to the Even Surlier Psychic on the streets of San Francisco. You come to a new level of understanding at the track as you play the horse “Awattagoo Siam” as she suggested. Use The Farce to wipe the egg off your face.
Sagittarius – (November 22 – December 21) This week, you pay a full moon visit to the Even Surlier Psychic on the streets of San Francisco. She tells you to arrive and set up at least an hour earlier if you intend to be successful. Use The Farce to TIITF!
Capricorn – (December 22 – January 19) This week, you pay a full moon visit to the Even Surlier Psychic on the streets of San Francisco. She tells you to learn some new dance steps. Use The Farce to listen carefully to any critiques.
Aquarius – (January 20 – February 18) This week, you pay a full moon visit to the Even Surlier Psychic on the streets of San Francisco. She tells you that your aura has chunks of beef & spinach in it. Use The Farce and some floss to reach a new level of clarity.
Pisces – (February 19 – March 20) This week, you pay a full moon visit to the Even Surlier Psychic on the streets of San Francisco. She tells you that your house is haunted. Use The Farce and Starving Students to move out of Amityville.
