HUMORSCOPES Week of 5-1-16 “May the Farce be with You!!!”

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

Aries – (March 21 – April 19) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to just go back in and get your “normal” back on. The time is NOW!

Taurus(April 20 – May 20) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to find a good place to put your purse. The time is NOW!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to xyz, pdq! The time is NOW!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to reach some new conclusions. The time is NOW!

Leo(July 23 – August 22) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to let go your Eggo. The time is NOW!

Virgo(August 23 – September 22) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to gain a new perspective. The time is NOW!

Libra – (September 23 – October 22) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to fill the chasm with love and understanding. The time is NOW!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to get Scottie to beam you up. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius(November 22 – December 21) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to take some Dramamine. The time is NOW!

Capricorn(December 22 – January 19) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to post it on FB. The time is NOW!

Aquarius(January 20 – February 18) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to check for those, “Punked” guys. The time is NOW!

Pisces(February 19 – March 20) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to holler, “Shatner” and do a silly walk all the way to your car. The time is NOW!

HUMORSCOPES Week of 4-24-16 “May the Farce be with You!!!”

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

Aries – (March 21 – April 19) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you set your clocks back 2 weeks. Use The Farce to find new balance. The time is NOW!

Taurus(April 20 – May 20) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you walk backward everywhere. Use The Farce to have a rear-view mirror installed. The time is NOW!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you reverse all your files. Use The Farce to resist the hype while embracing your own creativity. The time is NOW!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you play all your music backward. Use The Farce to repel the Illuminaughty fanatics. The time is NOW!

Leo(July 23 – August 22) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you choose to just hide under the blankies, breach-style. Use The Farce to set face the music. The time is NOW!

Virgo(August 23 – September 22) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you speak pig-latin. Use The Farce to take a well-deserved vacation. The time is NOW!

Libra – (September 23 – October 22) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you choose to beat the rush and purchase Christmas cards. Use The Farce to return to your senses. The time is NOW!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you have your tattoos moved to the opposite side. Use The Farce to for pain management. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius(November 22 – December 21) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you begin the beguine, but in the wrong direction. Use The Farce to explain your choice to the judges. The time is NOW!

Capricorn(December 22 – January 19) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you take a pause for the cause at the traffic lights. Use The Farce to get out of the carpool lane. The time is NOW!

Aquarius(January 20 – February 18) Uh, oh! In alignment with the true potential of Mercury “Retrograde,” you discover a stash of Cream of Wheat on the cruise ship! Use The Farce to enjoy your deeper understanding AND your favorite breakfast, with added carrot cake. The time is NOW!

Pisces(February 19 – March 20) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you dig out your old clothes and paint silver rings on all of your outfits. Use The Farce to schedule your fashion show. The time is NOW!

Humorscopes: Week of 4-17-16 May The Farce be with You!!

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

Aries – (March 21 – April 19) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to stitch up a great costume! The time is NOW!

Taurus – (April 20 – May 20) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to work up an amazing audition tape! The time is NOW!

Gemini – (May 21 – June 20) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to choreograph the most dazzling salsa routine ever, for your audition. The time is NOW!

Cancer – (June 21 – July 22) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to get that stanky leg ready to throw! The time is NOW!

Leo – (July 23 – August 22) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to apply additional rhythm. The time is NOW!

Virgo – (August 23 – September 22) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to learn the turn. The time is NOW!

Libra – (September 23 – October 22) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to distract the judges with snacks. The time is NOW!

Scorpio – (October 23 – November 21) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to hide some chocolate in all your outfits. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius – (November 22 – December 21) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to build your stamina. The time is NOW!
Capricorn – (December 22 – January 19) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to become more aerodynamic. The time is NOW!

Aquarius – (January 20 – February 18) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to leave the cereal behind for a while. The time is NOW!

Pisces – (February 19 – March 20) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to get in touch with your feminine side. The time is NOW!

Humorscopes: Week of 4-10-16 May The Farce be with You!!

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

Aries – (March 21 – April 19) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to shore up your strength. The time is NOW!

Taurus – (April 20 – May 20) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to enlist qualified assistance. The time is NOW!

Gemini – (May 21 – June 20) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to smile, smile, smile! The time is NOW!

Cancer – (June 21 – July 22) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to throw a little stanky leg. The time is NOW!

Leo – (July 23 – August 22) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to go, go, go! The time is NOW!

Virgo – (August 23 – September 22) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to create a new scheme. The time is NOW!

Libra – (September 23 – October 22) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to design it like you want it. The time is NOW!

Scorpio – (October 23 – November 21) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to add peanut butter & chocolate. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius – (November 22 – December 21) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to take your time. The time is NOW!
Capricorn – (December 22 – January 19) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to celebrate, of course! The time is NOW!

Aquarius – (January 20 – February 18) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to add coconut. The time is NOW!

Pisces – (February 19 – March 20) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to choreograph a flash mob in the new locale. The time is NOW!

Humorscopes: Week of 4-3-16 May The Farce be with You!!

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

Aries – (March 21 – April 19) You break out your best material for your visiting friends in the audience. However, well, are they even paying attention? Use The Farce to call security. The time is NOW!

Taurus – (April 20 – May 20) You break out your best material for your visiting friends in the audience. However, well, are they even paying attention? Use The Farce to invite them up. The time is NOW!

Gemini – (May 21 – June 20) You break out your best material for your visiting friends in the audience. However, well, are they even paying attention? Use The Farce to take command of the floor. The time is NOW!

Cancer – (June 21 – July 22) You break out your best material for your visiting friends in the audience. However, well, are they even paying attention? Use The Farce to charge them double. The time is NOW!

Leo – (July 23 – August 22) You break out your best material for your visiting friends in the audience. However, well, are they even paying attention? Use The Farce to close your eyes and pretend. The time is NOW!

Virgo – (August 23 – September 22) You break out your best material for your visiting friends in the audience. However, well, are they even paying attention? Use The Farce to beef it up even more. The time is NOW!

Libra – (September 23 – October 22) You break out your best material for your visiting friends in the audience. However, well, are they even paying attention? Use The Farce to send them a pot of coffee. The time is NOW!

Scorpio – (October 23 – November 21) You break out your best material for your visiting friends in the audience. However, well, are they even paying attention? Use The Farce to appreciate the karma. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius – (November 22 – December 21) You break out your best material for your visiting friends in the audience. However, well, are they even paying attention? Use The Farce to stomp the yard. The time is NOW!
Capricorn – (December 22 – January 19) You break out your best material for your visiting friends in the audience. However, well, are they even paying attention? Use The Farce to bust out your dance moves. The time is NOW!

Aquarius – (January 20 – February 18) You break out your best material for your visiting friends in the audience. However, well, are they even paying attention? Use The Farce to have a snack. The time is NOW!

Pisces – (February 19 – March 20) You break out your best material for your visiting friends in the audience. However, well, are they even paying attention? Use The Farce to hire new backup singers. The time is NOW!

Humorscopes: Week of 3-27-16 May The Farce be with You!!

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

Aries – (March 21 – April 19) Late at night, you feel the Spirit in your room. In the morning, you see it has tried on your favorite outfits. Use The Farce to fire up the washer. The time is NOW!

Taurus – (April 20 – May 20) Late at night, you feel the Spirit in your room. In the morning, you see it has tried on your favorite outfits. Use The Farce to remove the cosmic sludge. Shout it out! The time is NOW!

Gemini – (May 21 – June 20) Late at night, you feel the Spirit in your room. In the morning, you see it has tried on your favorite outfits. Use The Farce to just answer honestly when it asks which ones make its butt look big. The time is NOW!

Cancer – (June 21 – July 22) Late at night, you feel the Spirit in your room. In the morning, you see it has tried on your favorite outfits. Use The Farce to decide who you’re gonna call. The time is NOW!

Leo – (July 23 – August 22) Late at night, you feel the Spirit in your room. In the morning, you see it has tried on your favorite outfits. Use The Farce to learn to ask what it really wants. The time is NOW!

Virgo – (August 23 – September 22) Late at night, you feel the Spirit in your room. In the morning, you see it has tried on your favorite outfits. Use The Farce to express your outrage in the editorial section. The time is NOW!

Libra – (September 23 – October 22) Late at night, you feel the Spirit in your room. In the morning, you see it has tried on your favorite outfits. Use The Farce to take the hint and rearrange your closet. The time is NOW!

Scorpio – (October 23 – November 21) Late at night, you feel the Spirit in your room. In the morning, you see it has tried on your favorite outfits. Use The Farce to wear mittens next time. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius – (November 22 – December 21) Late at night, you feel the Spirit in your room. In the morning, you see it has tried on your favorite outfits. Use The Farce to just allow the flow. The time is NOW!
Capricorn – (December 22 – January 19) Late at night, you feel the Spirit in your room. In the morning, you see it has tried on your favorite outfits. Use The Farce to sleep in a different room. The time is NOW!

Aquarius – (January 20 – February 18) Late at night, you feel the Spirit in your room. In the morning, you see it has tried on your favorite outfits. Use The Farce to teach it to ride. The time is NOW!

Pisces – (February 19 – March 20) Late at night, you feel the Spirit in your room. In the morning, you see it has tried on your favorite outfits. Use The Farce to go big or go home. The time is NOW!

Humorscopes: Week of 3-20-16 May The Farce be with You!!

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

Aries – (March 21 – April 19) You KNOW it’s time to move on when even the cat’s tired of it. Use The Farce to get an additional cat. The time is NOW!

Taurus – (April 20 – May 20) You KNOW it’s time to move on when even the cat’s tired of it. Use The Farce to create a new balance. The time is NOW!

Gemini – (May 21 – June 20) You KNOW it’s time to move on when even the cat’s tired of it. Use The Farce to laugh, and do just that! The time is NOW!

Cancer – (June 21 – July 22) You KNOW it’s time to move on when even the cat’s tired of it. Use The Farce to go, go, go! The time is NOW!

Leo – (July 23 – August 22) You KNOW it’s time to move on when even the cat’s tired of it. Use The Farce to get on. The time is NOW!

Virgo – (August 23 – September 22) You KNOW it’s time to move on when even the cat’s tired of it. Use The Farce to unfray the edges. The time is NOW!

Libra – (September 23 – October 22) You KNOW it’s time to move on when even the cat’s tired of it. Use The Farce to take a clam chowder break. The time is NOW!

Scorpio – (October 23 – November 21) You KNOW it’s time to move on when even the cat’s tired of it. Use The Farce to take center stage, this time with confidence. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius – (November 22 – December 21) You KNOW it’s time to move on when even the cat’s tired of it. Use The Farce to just say no. The time is NOW!
Capricorn – (December 22 – January 19) You KNOW it’s time to move on when even the cat’s tired of it. Use The Farce to take it to keep it moving. The time is NOW!

Aquarius – (January 20 – February 18) You KNOW it’s time to move on when even the cat’s tired of it. Use The Farce to enjoy your breakfast anew. The time is NOW!

Pisces – (February 19 – March 20) You KNOW it’s time to move on when even the cat’s tired of it. Use The Farce to sing it out. The time is NOW!

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