HUMORSCOPES Week of 5-22-16 “May the Farce be with You!!!”

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

Aries – (March 21 – April 19) Finally, some action on your dating profile! Use The Farce to develop a taste for catfish. The time is NOW!

Taurus(April 20 – May 20) Finally, some action on your dating profile! Use The Farce to change your FB status to, “It’s Complicated.” The time is NOW!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Finally, some action on your dating profile! Use The Farce to make musubi out of all that spam. The time is NOW!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Finally, some action on your dating profile! Use The Farce to get ready to actually go outside. The time is NOW!

Leo(July 23 – August 22) Finally, some action on your dating profile! Use The Farce to practice your listening skills…without humming this time. The time is NOW!

Virgo(August 23 – September 22) Finally, some action on your dating profile! Use The Farce to raise your standards. The time is NOW!

Libra – (September 23 – October 22) Finally, some action on your dating profile! Use The Farce to change your font. The time is NOW!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Finally, some action on your dating profile! Use The Farce to remember the difference between pre and post-op. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius(November 22 – December 21) Finally, some action on your dating profile! Use The Farce to replenish your collection of toiletries. The time is NOW!

Capricorn(December 22 – January 19) Finally, some action on your dating profile! Use The Farce to brace yourself. Trust me, just brace yourself. The time is NOW!

Aquarius(January 20 – February 18) Finally, some action on your dating profile! Use The Farce to create your special cream of wheat appetizers! The time is NOW!

Pisces(February 19 – March 20) Finally, some action on your dating profile! Use The Farce to bathe. Nuff said. Smell ya later! The time is NOW!

HUMORSCOPES Week of 5-15-16 “May the Farce be with You!!!”

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

Aries – (March 21 – April 19) In alignment upcoming with the Full Moon, you pre-succumb to perceived peer pressure and purchase a peculiar weave. Use The Farce to find a beautician to install it properly on your head. Bueno suerte! The time is NOW!

Taurus(April 20 – May 20) In alignment upcoming with the Full Moon, you pre-succumb to perceived peer pressure and purchase a peculiar weave. Use The Farce to get used to the traffic cone orange hue. Bueno suerte! The time is NOW!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) In alignment upcoming with the Full Moon, you pre-succumb to perceived peer pressure and purchase a peculiar weave. Use The Farce to update your wardrobe to color coordinate with it. Bueno suerte! The time is NOW!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) In alignment upcoming with the Full Moon, you pre-succumb to perceived peer pressure and purchase a peculiar weave. Use The Farce to prepare and be alert. The world needs more lerts! Bueno suerte! The time is NOW!

Leo(July 23 – August 22)In alignment upcoming with the Full Moon, you pre-succumb to perceived peer pressure and purchase a peculiar weave. Use The Farce to and a selfie stick to update all your profile pics. Bueno suerte! The time is NOW!

Virgo(August 23 – September 22) In alignment upcoming with the Full Moon, you pre-succumb to perceived peer pressure and purchase a peculiar weave. Use The Farce to purchase a special basket for it to rest in at night. Bueno suerte! The time is NOW!

Libra – (September 23 – October 22) In alignment upcoming with the Full Moon, you pre-succumb to perceived peer pressure and purchase a peculiar weave. Use The Farce to return to your senses. Bueno suerte! The time is NOW!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) In alignment upcoming with the Full Moon, you pre-succumb to perceived peer pressure and purchase a peculiar weave. Use The Farce schedule your first therapy session. Well, since that last one. Bueno suerte! The time is NOW!

Sagittarius(November 22 – December 21) In alignment upcoming with the Full Moon, you pre-succumb to perceived peer pressure and purchase a peculiar weave. Use The Farce to to fire your advisers. Bueno suerte! The time is NOW!

Capricorn(December 22 – January 19) In alignment upcoming with the Full Moon, you pre-succumb to perceived peer pressure and purchase a peculiar weave. Use The Farce to think for yourself next time. Bueno suerte! The time is NOW!

Aquarius(January 20 – February 18) In alignment upcoming with the Full Moon, you pre-succumb to perceived peer pressure and purchase a peculiar weave. Use The Farce to debut it at your cream of wheat soirée! Bueno suerte! The time is NOW!

Pisces(February 19 – March 20) In alignment upcoming with the Full Moon, you pre-succumb to perceived peer pressure and purchase a peculiar weave. Use The Farce to lather, rinse, repeat. Bueno suerte! The time is NOW!

HUMORSCOPES Week of 5-8-16 “May the Farce be with You!!!”

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

Aries – (March 21 – April 19) You’d always heard it was that, “The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.” However, you still have no customers at your blackened lemonade stand, even though it’s situated in Creole country. Use The Farce to count to ten and try again. Enlighten up!

Taurus(April 20 – May 20) You’d always heard it was that, “The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.” However, you still have no customers at your blackened lemonade stand, even though it’s situated in Creole country. Use The Farce to set up a Kick Starter campaign. Enlighten up!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) You’d always heard it was that, “The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.” However, you still have no customers at your blackened lemonade stand, even though it’s situated in Creole country. Use The Farce to see if maybe your mama will go fund you. Enlighten up!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) You’d always heard it was that, “The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.” However, you still have no customers at your blackened lemonade stand, even though it’s situated in Creole country. Use The Farce to change the cup color to burnt orange. Enlighten up!

Leo(July 23 – August 22) You’d always heard it was that, “The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.” However, you still have no customers at your blackened lemonade stand, even though it’s situated in Creole country. Use The Farce to offer escort services between your stand and your customers’ vehicles. Enlighten up!

Virgo(August 23 – September 22) You’d always heard it was that, “The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.” However, you still have no customers at your blackened lemonade stand, even though it’s situated in Creole country. Use The Farce to give away free cinnamon rolls with every purchase. Enlighten up!

Libra – (September 23 – October 22) You’d always heard it was that, “The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.” However, you still have no customers at your blackened lemonade stand, even though it’s situated in Creole country. Use The Farce create a blog about your experiences. Enlighten up!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) You’d always heard it was that, “The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.” However, you still have no customers at your blackened lemonade stand, even though it’s situated in Creole country. Use The Farce to hire a web designer and try it online. Enlighten up!

Sagittarius(November 22 – December 21) You’d always heard it was that, “The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.” However, you still have no customers at your blackened lemonade stand, even though it’s situated in Creole country. Use The Farce loop a miniature train track around the stand. Who doesn’t love a miniature train track? Enlighten up!

Capricorn(December 22 – January 19) You’d always heard it was that, “The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.” However, you still have no customers at your blackened lemonade stand, even though it’s situated in Creole country. Use The Farce draw a cryptic symbol on the cup. Enlighten up!

Aquarius(January 20 – February 18) You’d always heard it was that, “The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.” However, you still have no customers at your blackened lemonade stand, even though it’s situated in Creole country. Use The Farce offer a side of cream of wheat with each cup sold. Enlighten up!

Pisces(February 19 – March 20) You’d always heard it was that, “The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.” However, you still have no customers at your blackened lemonade stand, even though it’s situated in Creole country. Use The Farce to add a low foam garnish on the top and see if that stimulates business. Enlighten up!

HUMORSCOPES Week of 5-1-16 “May the Farce be with You!!!”

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

Aries – (March 21 – April 19) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to just go back in and get your “normal” back on. The time is NOW!

Taurus(April 20 – May 20) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to find a good place to put your purse. The time is NOW!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to xyz, pdq! The time is NOW!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to reach some new conclusions. The time is NOW!

Leo(July 23 – August 22) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to let go your Eggo. The time is NOW!

Virgo(August 23 – September 22) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to gain a new perspective. The time is NOW!

Libra – (September 23 – October 22) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to fill the chasm with love and understanding. The time is NOW!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to get Scottie to beam you up. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius(November 22 – December 21) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to take some Dramamine. The time is NOW!

Capricorn(December 22 – January 19) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to post it on FB. The time is NOW!

Aquarius(January 20 – February 18) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to check for those, “Punked” guys. The time is NOW!

Pisces(February 19 – March 20) Uh, oh! You absent-mindedly wander into the transubstantiated rest room to get some much-needed rest just prior to New Moon, and come out different than you were when you entered! Use The Farce to holler, “Shatner” and do a silly walk all the way to your car. The time is NOW!

HUMORSCOPES Week of 4-24-16 “May the Farce be with You!!!”

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

Aries – (March 21 – April 19) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you set your clocks back 2 weeks. Use The Farce to find new balance. The time is NOW!

Taurus(April 20 – May 20) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you walk backward everywhere. Use The Farce to have a rear-view mirror installed. The time is NOW!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you reverse all your files. Use The Farce to resist the hype while embracing your own creativity. The time is NOW!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you play all your music backward. Use The Farce to repel the Illuminaughty fanatics. The time is NOW!

Leo(July 23 – August 22) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you choose to just hide under the blankies, breach-style. Use The Farce to set face the music. The time is NOW!

Virgo(August 23 – September 22) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you speak pig-latin. Use The Farce to take a well-deserved vacation. The time is NOW!

Libra – (September 23 – October 22) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you choose to beat the rush and purchase Christmas cards. Use The Farce to return to your senses. The time is NOW!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you have your tattoos moved to the opposite side. Use The Farce to for pain management. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius(November 22 – December 21) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you begin the beguine, but in the wrong direction. Use The Farce to explain your choice to the judges. The time is NOW!

Capricorn(December 22 – January 19) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you take a pause for the cause at the traffic lights. Use The Farce to get out of the carpool lane. The time is NOW!

Aquarius(January 20 – February 18) Uh, oh! In alignment with the true potential of Mercury “Retrograde,” you discover a stash of Cream of Wheat on the cruise ship! Use The Farce to enjoy your deeper understanding AND your favorite breakfast, with added carrot cake. The time is NOW!

Pisces(February 19 – March 20) Uh, oh! In alignment with Mercury “Retrograde,” you dig out your old clothes and paint silver rings on all of your outfits. Use The Farce to schedule your fashion show. The time is NOW!

Humorscopes: Week of 4-17-16 May The Farce be with You!!

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

Aries – (March 21 – April 19) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to stitch up a great costume! The time is NOW!

Taurus – (April 20 – May 20) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to work up an amazing audition tape! The time is NOW!

Gemini – (May 21 – June 20) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to choreograph the most dazzling salsa routine ever, for your audition. The time is NOW!

Cancer – (June 21 – July 22) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to get that stanky leg ready to throw! The time is NOW!

Leo – (July 23 – August 22) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to apply additional rhythm. The time is NOW!

Virgo – (August 23 – September 22) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to learn the turn. The time is NOW!

Libra – (September 23 – October 22) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to distract the judges with snacks. The time is NOW!

Scorpio – (October 23 – November 21) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to hide some chocolate in all your outfits. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius – (November 22 – December 21) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to build your stamina. The time is NOW!
Capricorn – (December 22 – January 19) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to become more aerodynamic. The time is NOW!

Aquarius – (January 20 – February 18) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to leave the cereal behind for a while. The time is NOW!

Pisces – (February 19 – March 20) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to get in touch with your feminine side. The time is NOW!

Humorscopes: Week of 4-10-16 May The Farce be with You!!

Disco Laughing Jesus

 

 

 

Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com

Aries – (March 21 – April 19) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to shore up your strength. The time is NOW!

Taurus – (April 20 – May 20) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to enlist qualified assistance. The time is NOW!

Gemini – (May 21 – June 20) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to smile, smile, smile! The time is NOW!

Cancer – (June 21 – July 22) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to throw a little stanky leg. The time is NOW!

Leo – (July 23 – August 22) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to go, go, go! The time is NOW!

Virgo – (August 23 – September 22) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to create a new scheme. The time is NOW!

Libra – (September 23 – October 22) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to design it like you want it. The time is NOW!

Scorpio – (October 23 – November 21) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to add peanut butter & chocolate. The time is NOW!

Sagittarius – (November 22 – December 21) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to take your time. The time is NOW!
Capricorn – (December 22 – January 19) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to celebrate, of course! The time is NOW!

Aquarius – (January 20 – February 18) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to add coconut. The time is NOW!

Pisces – (February 19 – March 20) Congratulations! You finally find exactly the right place and make that move. Use The Farce to choreograph a flash mob in the new locale. The time is NOW!

Previous Older Entries

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 78 other followers

%d bloggers like this: