Sponsor: T. Renee Richardson, www.psychic-services.com
Aries – (March 21 – April 19) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to stitch up a great costume! The time is NOW!
Taurus – (April 20 – May 20) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to work up an amazing audition tape! The time is NOW!
Gemini – (May 21 – June 20) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to choreograph the most dazzling salsa routine ever, for your audition. The time is NOW!
Cancer – (June 21 – July 22) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to get that stanky leg ready to throw! The time is NOW!
Leo – (July 23 – August 22) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to apply additional rhythm. The time is NOW!
Virgo – (August 23 – September 22) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to learn the turn. The time is NOW!
Libra – (September 23 – October 22) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to distract the judges with snacks. The time is NOW!
Scorpio – (October 23 – November 21) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to hide some chocolate in all your outfits. The time is NOW!
Sagittarius – (November 22 – December 21) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to build your stamina. The time is NOW!
Capricorn – (December 22 – January 19) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to become more aerodynamic. The time is NOW!
Aquarius – (January 20 – February 18) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to leave the cereal behind for a while. The time is NOW!
Pisces – (February 19 – March 20) For twistedly tangential reasons, Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Janet Jackson lip sync performance inspires you to apply to compete on Dancing with the Stars. Use The Farce to get in touch with your feminine side. The time is NOW!
HUMORSCOPES 